


Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry

by bennybentacles



Series: bad things happen bingo [3]
Category: The Umbrella Academy (Comics), The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, Gen, Gore, How Do I Tag, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I dont know what i am doing, Mentions of Blood, Past Child Abuse, Past Violence, also this writing style is bonkers, is this as bad as it sounds like? probably
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-09
Updated: 2020-09-09
Packaged: 2021-03-06 16:48:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,855
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26372221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bennybentacles/pseuds/bennybentacles
Summary: its not like as if she ever told the truth anyways. what's one more lie in her never ending list//prompt filled: scar to remember
Series: bad things happen bingo [3]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1913851
Kudos: 13
Collections: Bad Things Happen Bingo





	Stop asking me questions, I'd hate to see you cry

"what is the most memorable part of being a child superhero Allison?," many people asked throughout the years. what is really the most memorable part of being a superhero? is her time being the rumour really something worth looking back, times where she manipulated reality to impress his father

"well, the most memorable parts of being a superhero is that every mission that we have felt like a playtime more than it felt like anything else," she would always answer. lies, _lies, **lies**_. their mission felt like a suicide mission everytime, air always tense on the way, eyes looking at each other as if trying to memorize their siblings' faces because they weren't sure if they would still be alive at the end of the day.

"how did your father even train you for something like this? did he even tell you what you were doing all along?," people ask, eager to know now that she had let information out little by little. how did their father even train them? it was him spending hours torturing his children with their own abilities, making them hate themselves a little bit more as days passed by. it was just her father peering over them, monocle still firm in its place while his disappointment is clear on his face

"oh the training days! it was just like a game for all of us, we really didn't mind at all. and of course our father told us what we were doing, he was a good man after all," lies dripped from her painted lips as she dug her nails deeper into her palm, hoping that it won't draw blood. training days were harsh, them spending hours trying to kill each other, knives and guns and cable wires in their hands as they attempted to murder their own siblings. training day were her talking nonstop, _i heard a rumour that you died, i heard a rumour that you told my father everything he wants to know_. training days meant she had to talk until she can't, had to feel blood choke her slowly because her father told her to keep going even as her throat felt dry and closed up. 

"what part of being a superhero haunted you the most?," everybody asked, eyes lighting up with their lips stretched into their hungry grin, all ready to pounce on her the moment she slipped and showed her weakness. because this is her life, she had to lie and smile and please hungry sharks, had to live with these people just looking at her, waiting for her downfall. but she is smart, she is elegant and she is fast so she just smile, all too plastic and hides behind her carefully crafted mask

"our last mission as a team still haunts me to this day," it is the most acceptable answer, she had come to realize. everybody will come after her if she didn't say that her brother's death haunted her even though nothing terrified her more than when she was kidnapped and strapped in the hotel oblivion, not knowing if she'll live to see the day. she loves her brother Ben, don't get her wrong, but her brother already felt like a ghost even before his untimely death when he roamed their hallways with his foot not making any sound, his eyes cold and dead on the inside and when her brother grinned it felt to sharp, to practiced, _too fake_ and she just wanted her brother back and not this monster that wore his brother's skin.

" your brother, the sèance, had always been the most popular member of the umbrella academy. how did that make you feel?," they asked, and she felt herself falter for a moment. how did that make her feel? are they taunting her? are they making her bend and break so that they could devour her, peer over her putrid soul and laugh.

" well it made me feel happy for my brother," she feel like vomiting. her brother, the sèance, Klaus had never cared that he was the most favored member of the academy. she had watched as he was loved by thousands of people, watched as people continue to love his ungrateful brother even after he had started smoking and drinking and _using_ and it is already evident that he does something illicit yet people still worshipped the ground he walks. she felt so jealous of her brother, who only has to look at the camera and smile and wink and everybody came swooning in. it didn't matter even if he cusses live on tv or he saunter in an interview with a cigarette clutched in his fingers, people still love him.

"how did your father react to the academy disbanding?," people are so hard to please. she gave them answers yet they kept asking, kept pushing and milking her for information even if it drains her out. didn't she already answer enough? does she have to answer more? she just wants this to stop

"our father was very cool with that actually. he told us we could stop whenever we want and when we finally did he just let us," **_lies_**. it was a disaster, with Klaus wrecking havoc throughout the academy, shouting at everybody, anybody and nobody at all. Diego had broken portraits of their father with his knives. Luther on the other hand, _oh Luther_ , he had begged everyone to stay, to be who they were supposed to be and they had to leave the academy with their last memory of their brother just begging. she had never felt more conflicted but she had to go because she doesn't want to end up like Ben and she's sure she would if she didn't leave.

"now for the last question, any scars from your childhood missions that you may want to show the audience?," they asked before they all laugh awkwardly, as if just realizing how inappropriate their question are. but this is how Hollywood is, with its constant pushing and clawing people open like clamshells and taking everything that they would and when they finally hallowed you out, they would throw you aside.

"well i have this scar in my hand from fighting in Paris," the scar that she was talking about is the size of a penny, deep in harsh against her skin. she had it when she assisted Diego, with her blocking a projectile using her hands or else Diego would end up dead. they were just eleven at the time, all to young, cocky and oh so terribly stupid. they all thought they were bulletproof and untouchable, with them going into the battle with nothing but their wit and their hope that they would finish the job and go home, safe.

but her scar in her hand is just one of the hundreds of scars that littered her body, all of them telling something yet nothing at all. none of them ever came close to ruining her than her scar on her thigh did. 

the scar on her thigh is big, with it jagged and wrapped around both of her thigh, creating a ring around it. she vividly remember how she got that scar. it was a training day, of course it is because it seems like its all that they did as children. that day was not like any other day, as they trained outside the academy, all of them standing in a neat line in a field, all of them except Ben, who was standing in front of them. 

she remembers how her brother shook uncontrollably, eyes filled with unshed tears and lips bitten down to hold back sobs. she remembers how her father was far away, a megaphone in his hand that looked so comically out of place. she remembers how Klaus had sighed from beside her, his hands swaying softly as if he doesn't care about what was to happen

she can clearly remember the moment that it dawned to her, the moment that she realized what was going to happen. she remembers the fear that washed over her body, locking her in place as her hands trembled from beside her. they were all gonna die. her brother, her sweet baby brother Ben, was going to kill them. her father was gonna use them as a bait for the horror, as a threat for Ben and her father would punish them all from sneaking out by killing them. she doesn't want to die, she was way too young to die. why did she have to die so young? who was her father to decide her fate and seal it with his words

she remembers how a sob went past his brother's lip before the monsters that resided his body burst out of his stomach, and is this what the criminals looked at a second before their demise? this horrifying view and nothing else. she remembers how the horror had attacked everybody, tentacles clutching and squeezing and squeezing and squeezing until everybody had passed out.

it took minutes before her brother managed to control the horror and put them all back down and it was a mess after that, all of them bloodied and bruised and broken. she remembers that day so vividly, remembers how she looked at her thigh which she can see way too much of her muscles and _are those bones?_ she really doesn't want to know. she remembers how she had passed out once more after seeing the injuries that she had and she remembers the weeks that followed by.

it was a mess of painkillers and painstakingly doing therapy with their mother and her crying in the bathroom because she knows that it would scar and as much as she'd like to blame Ben, she knows that it is not her brother's fault and it never would be her brother's fault. 

she remembers how she had to vomit when her bandages came off and she saw how big and ugly her thighs had became and it would never be the same again. she would have to live her life with her scars, a proof of her brother's pain and struggle with the horror and her horrifying experience as a member of the umbrella academy

  
"okay folks, thats all the time we have for today! thank you again miss allison hargreeves for spending the night answering the fans' burning questions and we hope to see you again" as the cameras stopped rolling, everyone else had stop smiling, everyone but her because she still have to lie, she has to mask herself yet because no one can know. she had risked way too much for this and she can't start messing up now

only after she had entered her apartment and closed the doors did she stop smiling, letting her guard down and knowing she had to put it up again tomorrow, and the day after tomorrow and the next few decades more. she had dug herself a hole with the life she chose to live in, and she is already in too deep and she doesn't know if she can come out

**Author's Note:**

> title from Mama by MCR. also i dont know if i did the prompt justice so let me know what you think about it because i just..... dont know
> 
> talk to me on tumblr @bennybentacles


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